I was walking through a park now. It was clean and
without traffic pollution. The bench under jacaranda tree, where I often sit
and contemplate is unoccupied. Some children were playing. On Sundays the park
is monopolized by children whole day. The bench is at isolated corner of the
park surrounded by many flowering trees. There was a violet carpet of jacaranda
flowers on the ground. I could catch my breath here. Except some voices of
children in the distance the park was totally silent. Slowly these voices also
become part of silence and I am at peace. The anxiety of Aalya's marriage is
over. She has her own fate which I don't control. The boy would search her, or
she him. Once she is gone I will have no purpose in life. May be I can spend
time taking care of my wife. What is the vacuum I fill in this world that will
remain, if I die now, on this bench. I lie down on the bench and pretend dead.
I could listen to my own heart beat. A dead man with heart beat. May be my
heart is pumping mechanism, and there is no blood to pump. Few flowers had
fallen on me. Great funeral. Nature is also ready to bid me farewell. I felt as
if I have filled some vacuum in nature. Some flowers float in the air change
direction and fall on me, others coming at me go stray and fall on the ground.
A flock of birds settled on the tree of jacaranda
and sung a chorus. My eyes are closed; there is no movement in my body. Birds
are not scared of me. One sits on my shoes, I can feel her beak searching for
food in the crevices of my old shoes. Wherever I will be after death, I am sure
there will be no bird searching for food sitting over me. There is an urge to
shake a leg. I control and remain motionless. The bird flies away after some
vain efforts. Next time I will remember to put some grains in the crevices of
my shoes. A dead man has no right to disappoint anybody.
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